“Desperately Seeking Solitude”

Critique on the pitfalls of socializing at the gym

March 19, 2022

“Desperately Seeking Solitude”

A number of years ago, in Australian IRONMAN magazine (Volume 20, No. 4 from 2013) I had authored a scathing assessment that discussed the pitfalls of socialising in the gym which I had entitled ‘The Sounds of Silence.’

To me this was a highly personal analysis, as I had discovered that some members use the gym as a social crutch more than place of self-development. Indeed, a frustrating phenomenon which inevitably tested my patience than one occasion and it continues to do so.

To gain further understanding of this phenomenon, I had reached out to various Australian bodybuilding luminaries including (but not limited to) Nick Jones, Joe Grima, Rach White, Justin Wessels and Scott Goble among others. Whilst the generous insights varied, there was a common thread amongst all participants that recognised the very essence and purpose of the gym:

To Train!

As humans, there is an undeniable and inherent need to communicate, fraternise and make connections. However, prioritising this at the gym as some seem to do, is ethically bankrupt, perplexing and rude.

In this sequel, I have been fortunate to gain some excellent insight from two Australian bodybuilding talents in IFBB Pro League Figure champion, Jo Jo Doble (@jojo.doble) and former multi-federational champion and IFBB emcee, Craig Winter (@craigwinter) – both of whom have enhanced this analysis with their acumen.

OCCURRENCE AND FREQUENCY

Compared to the mornings, interruptive patrons seem to be more prevalent at night. Whilst in the early mornings most are keen to complete their session and then head into work, there is a seemingly greater sense of leisure that increases the risk of unwanted chatter at the gym, during an evening especially from 7pm onwards.

Consequently, one could assert that the remedy is to simply train in the mornings, but we can easily counter that with four words:

‘Why should we change?’

Personal preference and intention should never be governed by the whims of external influences. Given that your lifestyle choices should only ever be dictated by what makes you happy, then any such blocker shouldn’t become a defined deterrent.

Before proceeding, I will preface this by stating that extra politeness and civility should be extended (without limitation) to your gym owner, the gym staff and any elderly patrons – the latter of which forms part of filial piety, and in my opinion the elderly always deserve respect.

Now onto the critical analysis.

INDICATIVE CODES

Personal observations yield three categories of gym patrons, each ranging in severity.

CODE GREEN: The best type of patrons, and one category that myself and many of you would fall into. These are the more ardent trainer, likely with headphones in tow and despite being focussed they are personable enough to acknowledge fellow members or staff politely; however never opt to engage in lengthy conversation beyond a greeting. Bodybuilders (and other athletes) easily fall into this category, as many treat their sport with the utmost dedication and respect those like-minded around them.

CODE YELLOW: Sometimes tedious but ultimately harmless, many of these are somewhat tactile and rather than seeking to connect are just applying an added layer of interaction. There doesn’t seem to be an overtness to converse at length, but instead demonstrate more personable traits. It doesn’t diminish or completely negate your time, and is more easily managed as they are generally as keen to train as you are. Unlike CODE GREEN, interactions may be slightly longer but not by much and CODE YELLOW will more often than not apologise, enabling you to continue your session.

CODE RED: Undoubtedly, this is the worst type of gym patron. Oblivious to gym norms as well as lacking any common sense, they freely interrupt the prior two categories with reckless abandon to discuss aspects of their lives – not realising that at best many of us respond by feigning polite interest. This is an intolerable category because not only are they being intrusive but also proactively negating your effort and time. Incredibly, even the visible presence of headphones may not be enough to mitigate their approach (this will be explored below)

Whilst CODE GREEN is ideal and CODE YELLOW is manageable, the presence of CODE RED is terribly problematic for a range of issues whether these be the impacts on time or even individual momentum. There is nothing worse than being ‘in-the-zone’ during a set, capitalising on the effects of a potent pre-workout formula, listening to a great song, only to be interrupted by someone who proactively seeks validation through conversation. Personally, for me this is an abhorrent intrusion that cannot be justified in any measurable way.

In one recent instance, I had two younger guys randomly introducing themselves to me, whilst I was resting from a set, with my headphones in and when I politely queried their introduction their response was:

‘We all train at the same time’

My response was a confused and bewildered acknowledgement.

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Indeed, he made an apt observation but nonetheless, it is meaningless. Moreover stating the obvious is neither admirable nor intelligent, purely simple minded as well as misguided. My decision to train at a specific time is contingent on a schedule that I have painstakingly devised, to satisfy my own daily goals and not to address the misplaced whims of the socially inept.

After that bizarre and unwanted introduction, my worst fears were realised when one of these guys would proactively seek me out to chat and by extension, interrupt my session on every occasion.

This is unacceptable.

AN EXERCISE IN DISSONANCE?

As a busy working professional, I have limited time during the day and have a milestone schedule that I plan and work towards; something many of you could relate to. Allocating an hour to the gym in the evening, is clearly dedicated to personal preference and allocated effort; none of this actively seeks to consider a CODE RED patron who is a burdensome impediment.

During my work day, I enjoy the benefit of setting my status to ‘Do Not Disturb’ or ‘Busy’ which enables me to focus on a specific task or project and do so without any interruptions. The equivalency within the gym used to be a set of headphones, yet as I have discovered in recent times this does not provide the absolute required personal solitude as per the aforementioned example.

It would be feasible to assume that most patrons attend the gym to simply train – for whatever reason that may be. However, as pragmatic and easily comprehensible as that is, those from CODE RED evidently have a skewed purpose or intention; one that should NOT impact upon CODE GREEN or CODE YELLOW. There is a disconnect or dissonance here, for if they want to engage in social conversation there are other places that facilitate that such as bars, pubs or even social clubs where the demographic allows for that interaction.

Even from a basic legal perspective, most of us patrons are not qualified to offer advice on instructive methods or nutrition etc – and certainly do not want to be liable or culpable for any third party injury and the like. Reciprocally, it is unwise to seek advice from the unqualified for your own purposes and this should be readily avoided.

From my perspective, as a long-standing and published journalist within the sport, I have a successful track record of picking champions, making predictions, covering large scale events and marketing the right athletes (ie. Pros) as I have done for well over 10 years. However this does not mean I have the same functional expertise to offer training advice and the like.

Moreover, my journalistic experience and expertise means I have a very high standard of criteria when it comes to interviewing and writing about athletes; so I often ignore unsolicited suggestions from literal ‘nobodies’ which does still occur more than I would like – but that is a story for another time.

LIMITED EXCEPTIONS

With all that said, few exceptions can be created through individual discretion. At a prior gym, there was one young Greek patron that was CODE GREEN – and being Mediterranean, he was always warm, hospitable and friendly, but was also an ardent trainer. We’d always greet one another with a handshake, exchange pleasantries and then get on with our respective training. One evening, he walked in and shook my hand but he was pale and didn’t seem his jovial self.

Immediately, he apologised for his lack of enthusiasm and informed me that his older sister had unexpectedly passed away during her holiday in the UK. In shock, I expressed my condolences, he shook my hand again and slowly walked onto the gym floor. As he turned, I called out and offered a friendly ear if he wanted to talk, he politely declined (saying he didn’t want to interrupt my session) but came over and gave me a ‘bro hug’ to say thank you. Indeed, in such a dire circumstance I personally would have been willing to delay my workout to assist someone experiencing some real personal tragedy.

Evidently, instances like that do require common sense as much as the application of a greater humanity; yet the same level of consideration cannot and should not be applied to those that simply want to talk about themselves and as a byproduct, ruin your planned gym session.

I always assert the view that ‘Compassion should be discretionary, not blatantly mandatory.’

PURPOSE AND FUNCTION

Though the gym is, to a degree a social environment, the fundamental purpose is pure function, that is to train – not talk and socialise.

Whilst you could easily argue that some have the right and liberty to use their gym as a place to make friends, one could also easily rebut that asserting that a ‘buy-in’ is necessary in what is essentially an interactive contract.

Both parties must be willing participants, so like a contract there has to be an offer (to talk) and an acceptance (to engage in conversation); if the latter doesn’t agree, then common sense dictates that interaction is null and void, hence should not persist.

The important element to recognise is that whilst at the gym there are very few defined reasons to be interrupted at length and at nauseum; and it is certainly unfair for others to assume that they are privy to your time.

There are some instances where some interaction is necessary, such as to query to use of equipment, but for the most part that never exceeds a few seconds. Mostly, this falls within the ambit of those that are seen as CODE GREEN or CODE YELLOW above.

MITIGATION METHODS

From the outset, it is easy to assume that headphones would prevent most unwanted interruptions however over the last number of years these have proven less of a deterrent especially to those that assume they have the right to engage in a long conversation. Below are my suggested alternatives, and though by no means exhaustive some or all of these may provide an effective remedy.

(Note: Obviously if you have access to the complete facilities of a home gym, you are one of the lucky ones!)

Personal Trainer

The presence of a Personal Trainer is effective in dealing with this, as I have found that my Coach Justin Perillo (@justin_lean365) provides a buffer of sorts that eliminates any external interruptions. A skilled strength coach like Justin fortifies my effort and isolates the interactions in that very moment, and in the rare cases where an unwanted interruption occurs Justin is savvy enough to sharply and politely eliminate it. Ultimately, any inexperienced patrons of any code should seek out a professional and pay for the benefits of proper guidance; as opposed to randomly disturbing fellow patrons.

A training partner can also be effective in this regard, just ensure you do enough due diligence to select one who shares your enthusiasm for training and chagrin for interrupting patrons.

Attitude

Lately, I have discovered that the only way to deal with any extended interruptions is to be as abrupt as possible. Ironically, doing so creates the perception of one being rude, obnoxious or dismissive; despite the fact that the intrusion was initiated by a third party. Refusing to make eye contact, does in most cases remove any opportunity for discussions – though as I had experienced it isn’t a complete and unequivocal solution especially as some people have no situational or self-awareness.

Headphones

Although now limited in effectiveness, these are the first initial barrier that should (in theory) deter any serial talkers at the gym.

Personally, I have my music turned up as loud as I can, not simply to enjoy my chosen genres (ie. Hard Rock, Glam and Power Metal, Country and 80s Synth) but also to focus my attention onto the set I am doing. Having one’s workout motivated by the brilliance of Yngwie Malmsteen, AC/DC, Crazy Lixx, Brooks & Dunn or even Mitch Murder should never be compromised!

Hat

This is a new one implementation that has been suggested by my talented friend Jo Jo Doble (IFBB Pro League Figure champion), citing the elusiveness provided by the cap peak and an added mitigating accessory. However, Jo Jo has cautioned this by saying “Maybe even also a hat if you want to be real savvy, but people actually don’t give a stick now if you are just wearing them and just normally tap you on the shoulder”

Change of Location

This should be a last resort, but can be a welcome prospect if (like me) you are a member of a large gym franchise that facilitates entry at any of their gyms locally and even internationally. In the pre-pandemic era, this was something highly beneficial; after all training in a locale where you are unknown to other members almost guarantees an interruption free session. However, this is indeed a drastic measure and one that should be investigated if your circumstances become intolerable. Jo Jo adds “I will often do this because if I am at my regular gym my workouts end up being a mother’s club meeting and I can end up talking non-stop! Access to a different gym can stop this and also makes you step out of your comfort zone, enjoy different equipment and talk to no one!”

FINAL THOUGHTS

Concluding this narrative is a quote from the illustrious Craig Winter (a lifetime natural bodybuilder, State, National & International champion, coach, judge and IFBB Emcee) who says:

“Imagine interrupting a serious professional bodybuilder like Dorian Yates at the peak of his career, you just wouldn’t even dream of doing so! The same etiquette should be extended to anyone that chooses to train in the Green Zone. I personally enjoy using Dorian’s HIT principle when working out in the gym. High Intensity Training relies heavily on putting everything into all your working sets whilst moving quickly from one exercise to the next. There is no room for any ‘High Intensity Talkers’ with this regime with workouts ideally completed in less than 60 minutes. People theses days are extremely ‘time poor’ and value being able to get in the gym, go hard and then go home. These so called Red Zone members who have adopted the LIT (Low Intensity Training) philosophy should take heed of one of my favourite Dorian Yates’ quotes:

“WORK HARD IN SILENCE, LET YOUR SUCCESS MAKE THE NOISE”

Vance Ang Bio: Vance Ang has been writing professionally in bodybuilding and fitness since 2005, having written extensively for hardcopy publications such as Australian IRONMAN and FLEX; but also for e-publications such as RAW Muscle and online platforms Iron Muscle. He is a Melbourne based consultant with a background in policy and strategy, and is also currently undertaking his post graduate study in Law. In addition to bodybuilding, he is also interested in conservative politics and Savate (French Kickboxing)